Fear

I am not a person given to much worry. Admittedly, in these turbulent times, I do notice that fear sometimes creeps around the periphery of my vision. But generally, I am with Patel, Manager of The Best Marigold Hotel who says, "Everything will be all right in the end; if it's not all right, it's not yet the end." When I go through difficult times, I remind myself that "this, too, shall pass".

A big picture person, details tend to evade my attention at the best of times. Big picture thinking  leads me to agree with Patel, convinced that all will be well in the end. There is an infinite line of history that merges into eternity. A place where time-keeping is abolished, and there is no end of wellbeing in the presence of our Maker and Lover. No human mind can comprehend the glorious joy - the 'well' in the end.

It's not that I'm so very heavenly-minded. My feet are firmly planted; I have a calling that keeps me grounded. And I am not afraid. I don't experience anxiety, as a rule, so in a world where angst is prevalent, I've often wondered if I'm some kind of abnormal creature, or one whose head is deeply buried in the sand. As a small child, I panicked whenever I couldn't see one or other of my parents. Later, I suffered debilitating attacks of stomach pain for no apparent reason. As I grew older, something changed. How and when did that happen?

Walter Bruggeman says that the Spirit - who knows us and calls us by name, baptizes us with freedom - allowing us to be unafraid, to live differently, without a need to control, dominate, or accumulate.

The Spirit offers us the option of not being driven by anxiety (please know that I have great empathy for those with mental health issues; I believe this is not what Bruggeman is referring to here). The new believers in the resurrection of Christ - the church described in Acts 2 - were bold, unafraid. And they turned the world upside down. No; he concedes, "they turned the world right side up".

Bruggeman continues on: Frightened people will never turn the world, simply because they expend so much energy in self-protection, self-defence, accumulation, self-absorption, dissatisfaction and restlessness. By contrast, he says, the unafraid are open to their neighbours, unthreatened by those who are different; they are generous and live open-handedly; they act in compassion and mercy; they do justice for the weak and the poor; they pray at the beginning of the day, act in love through the day, and give thanks at the end of the day.

Really, this is about the one, true, unconditional Love. Only Love can turn the world right-side up. And Love conquers fear. God is Love.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.(1 John 4:18)

I've let things slide...or more specifically, I've let this blog site slide. Perhaps it's part of my Dutch heritage ... the work ethic. I know it's not a good excuse, but it's the only one I've got. I am trapped in a mindset of getting things done - things you can measure and see. Clean this. Cook that. Grow this. Store up freezer meals, and take some meals to someone who needs them.

There's always so much to do; to take time for something frivolous (i.e. writing), seems, well, frivolous! I know it's important to log my spiritual journey. It helps me look back to where I've been, and how far I've come, or how dry my life has become. It may validate some revelations in my life. It may confirm who I am, and who I'm called to be. It may even (by God's grace) give someone else something to ponder on their journey.

I recall going on a one-day sail on a tall ship. We were in the doldrums; that is, there was no wind. We couldn't go anywhere. There wasn't a breeze anywhere to help us along. I have not been sitting motionless in the doldrums lately. God's wind has been providing me with energy for movement. He's teaching me about fruit of the Spirit, and He's teaching me about prayer. The journey is delightful! I am, for the first time in years, thoroughly enjoying sitting at His feet and learning. I am content with being taught, and being in His presence. I will enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

I know that the journey here is fraught with potholes. I know that I will struggle. But for now, I will not feel guilty about this peaceful existence. My spirit grows as the Spirit holds me in sweet comfort.

I hope to be more disciplined in sharing my journey. I hope you join me.